Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

...to find a bi-directional cable signal booster? If you're at Circuit City, it's eight. Yes, you read that correctly. Eight employees. I'm sure it'd have taken fewer if one didn't have to SHOUT to be heard over the music played over the PA system, which was competing with the "music" coming from the stereo/tv department. Excuse, the audio/video department. Music is in quotes because it was rap that was blaring out and the words you could hear over the bass (which was bone rattling loud) were of the swearing variety. At least the only words I recognized were swear words (I'm not counting the words "yeah" "uh huh" "ohhhh" and "unnh"). But I digress.

I first wandered the store looking for the booster. I wasn't sure if it'd be in PC Accessories, TV Accessories or the random Cables and Accessories sections throughout the store. Apparently I had as much of a clue as the employees did. As I went in search of the Help Desk an employee asked me if I needed any help and I said "Yeah. I'm looking for a bidirectional cable booster. I have the SKU number if that will help you locate it better." He just stared at me for a couple seconds and then said "I'm not sure, let me ask." We walk over to this other guy. I explain what I was looking for and what it did when he looked clueless as to what a cable booster did. He Was clueless and waved us off to this other guy. I explained again. Third guy was also clueless, said to try over in PCs because each department only knows the stock in that department.

First guy and I walk over to PC department and talk to guy number four. After I explained again, what I was after, fourth guy said "What?" I said "Cable booster to help the signal strength for cable tv and cable modem" "Cable modem? They're over there." First guy, fourth guy and I walk over and see the lovely display of Motorolla cable modems. I say "No, not the modem. I have a modem. I just need to boost the signal strength." Fourth guy said try over in TV's. First guy and I walk over to TVs and talk to guy number five. Rather I commence shouting to be heard. Guy number one leaves. Fifth guy looks up SKU on system or tries too. He turns back to me from the computer and says "Okay" (I think that's what he said) hands me my paper back and we walk back to the PC area and talk to guy number six. Number six doesn't know what fifth guy is talking about. I explain what I'm looking for and add "It's on special this week, if that helps you at all." I get two blank stares. Sixth guy walks away, I don't know if he's just leaving or if he's going to search for the booster. Fifth guy walks back to TVland and is never seen again. So I'm standing there, in the middle of the aisle, my patience (not a virtue of mine, by the way) almost entirely gone when guy number four walks back and asks "You find it?" I say "No" and guys number seven and eight appear. Guy number eight tries to sell me a new modem that comes with a booster. I tell him "I don't NEED a modem. I have a modem. It's brand new. I just need the booster." He replies "well if you returned that modem and buy this or this you wouldn't need the booster." Be proud of me folks, I didn't smack him. I didn't even roll my eyes or snarl at him. Although I was doing all three in my head. I explain in a rather tight voice "I don't need a modem. Mine cost me $9. Besides you sell the booster. It's on your webpage. I have the SKU number. It's on special this week. I. Just. Want. The. Booster." Guy number seven types in the SKU number and then the believe me that they sell the item. That they have it in stock. That it's on special. Argh!! So then guys number four and six return, see the picture and say "OH yeah, I remember seeing that. But I don't remember where." Eight guy had the same reaction.

Guys seven and eight don't go anywhere though. Four and six walk away to look for the booster. I stay standing in the aisle. Guy number four comes back and shows me the box "This is what you're looking for?" I read the box (still in his hand) "It looks like it, let me check the SKU. Yes, this is it exactly. Thank you!" Sixth guy returns with booster in hand. Each guy got it in a different place. Guy six asks guy eight, "Where'd you get yours?" Eight replies - still holding the box, I might add - "I found it over in TVs, in the satellite dish" (I have no idea what that means) "The guys over there don't know there stuff. I know my stuff. See the coaxial cables in here? This is TV stuff. They don't know ther stuff. I had to find this in their area." I'm standing there, nodding sympathetically, trying to figure out how I can grab the booster and leave without seeming overly rude. Guy eight pauses to take a breath and looks at me. I immediately jump in "This is great." I grab the box. "Thanks so much for helping me. I really appreciate it." I give him a big smile and bat my eyes at him (this usually works, don't ask me why, it makes no sense to me) and he smiles back. Tells me I can "Go pay up front now" and then turns back to other guy and starts venting about the TV guys not knowing their stuff as I walk away.

I can only imagine how long it'd have taken if there had been any other customers in the store. Or if the music was at a normal, non-ear drum threatening level.

The absolute WORST part about the whole experience is that the booster didn't even work! I still can't connect to the internet through my cable modem! Cable company is sending an "expert" out Next Thursday. Oy! And I can't even use dial up as I uninstalled that software Tuesday *sigh*