Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

I'm such a pitiful journal/blog reader! Malora set this challenge for me back in August after I tagged her to list her Top 10 non-sexual Turn Offs/Ons.

List your top 10 real turn ons and turn offs. Just the stuff that makes you feel all warm and tingly…or cold and weirded out.

Here's mine, in no particular order of importance:

Top 10 Turn Ons
1. Smell of coffee
2. Edge's guitar playing (Especially at the end of One - the live version, RTSS* - Zoo TV tour version, and Miracle Drug)
3. Bono singing (Especially RTSS*, Stay, Ultraviolet, and Bad)
4. U2 concerts
5. Standing on a beach with the water lapping my toes and the wind in my hair
6. Chocolate fondue
7. Getting flowers
8. Receiving cards for no reason
9. Curling up in front of a fire (or candle) on a cool night
10. Wrapping up in blankets and cuddling with someone special

Top 10 Turn Offs
1. Someone who creates differnet messneger IDs because you blocked him and/or hunts up an alternate email address because you blocked him at the one he knew
2. People throwing away items instead of recycling them
3. People driving three blocks to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes (or anything else that is easily carried)
4. Cigarette smoke! (sorry Rach)
5. People slurping their food, scraping out yogurt cartons, talking with food in their mouth.. basic lack of table manners.
6. Friends who are "just teasing" about things that aren't a teasing matter (random freak stalking you, for example)
7. People typing 'r' instead of 'are', 'y' instead of 'why', 'u' instead of 'you', etc.
8. The boss clipping his nails (almost weekly!!) at work
9. Cramps
10. Being bored


*For those non-U2 peeps, RTSS = Running To Stand Still. Song five on Joshua Tree album. That would be the song after Bullet the Blue Sky.

What the heck was going on with the metro this morning? That would be the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority. There was the smell of burnt wires and smoke in both stations I was in this morning. Did a fuse blow? Did some of the lights blow? What the heck caught fire that there was smoke hovering in the tunnel and left an acrid taste in the back of my throat??

Speaking of the metro what the heck is the deal with trains stopping short? Are the drivers trying to perfect the art of stopping so that the last car is just barely inside the station? Are there hidden cameras in the first couple of cars and the employees are laughing themselves silly at the human sardines? Or do they just like to see people at the front end of the station come running back to the train?

I went out to get St@rb^cks this morning as the coffee in the office and at D^nk!n D*n^ts still taste wretched. (such a dramatic word - Wretched.) And after having a vanilla latte at Donna's (cafe/bistro place in Columbia, MD) I'm even more of a coffee snob because the latte at Donna's was the best I've ever had. But I digress.

I had just rounded the corner of my building when I see him. The carpet buffer flirty guy sweeping up cigarette butts. I mentally cringe and brace myself (I know, bad of me, but I can't help it. The guy completely invaded my space the last time) as I get closer to him. I then make sure that I do not look his way, do not even act like I know someone is there. The basic snobbish, cleaning people are below my realm of existence, stare into the distance look. Out of the corner of my eye I see him stop sweeping, sorta lean on the handle of the dustpan and give me this big, goofy grin and wink at me.

Apparently, pretending I don't see him isn't a deterrent.

So I've been taking after Elims lately. Not posting many entries. Here are my excuses. I was sick on Thursday and Friday (although I dragged myself to work on Friday) and was at a friend's place Friday night to Sunday evening. Lame excuses, I know. I just didn't realize that I hadn't posted an entry on Friday.

I spent Saturday working the front desk/reception/register at my friend's day spa. It was okay. Not hard and there were a lot of slow times. The day was fully booked but most of the sessions are an hour (or more) long so I had times when the technicians were all occupied with clients and the place was quiet (except for the music).

It's doubtful that I'll be doing it again. The way the taxes work between MD and VA, I'd have to be taxed on my spa salary twice, so it wouldn't be worth it and I can't be paid "under the table" because 1) my conscious would nag at me and 2) it would royally screw with my security clearance.

I just signed a Confidentiality Agreement for Termination/Transfer paper. Since we don't have the contract, our security badges expire on September 30. Had to sign this paper (post dated to 9/30) and will turn our badges in on the 30th. How any of us will get into the building (looking on the bright side here) on October 3, is beyond me. There's this one paragraph of the agreement that amuses me.

I understand that as an employee who had access to CBI (confidential business info) under FIFRA (Federal Insecticide, Fungicide and Rodenticide Act) section ---, I am liable for a possible fine of up to $10,000 and/or imprisonment for up to one (1) year or both, if I willfully disclose FIFRA CBI to any person not authroized. Additionally, I understand that according to section ---, FIFRA provides for a penalty of up to $10,000 and up to three (3) years imprisonment for disclosure of formula (manufacturing process, quality control processes and production data) with intent to defraud.

Amuses me because I don't remember anything about work once I leave here. Shoot, most of the time I have to check my notes on how to process stuff. I don't have time to pay attention to manufacturing processes. I don't even read that. So, basically, I've signed my life away for nothing. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Just received this email from my boss. Compressed time is where you work 9 hour days and get a full day off every two weeks. I was to start the compressed schedule on Oct 3.

With the current unknown as to our work order with Company B, there is a possibility that the Compressed schedule may be abolished at the end of September. Employees are cautioned to schedule their lives accordingly and be prepared to use accrued leave in place of selected Compressed Days.

There is yet another meeting Wednesday or Thursday to discuss some of our costing propsal information so I would not expect anything in writing from Company B before the first of next week.

When does 2+2=9? When you're going through the McDonald's drive thru at 5.30 in the morning.

"How many sugars and cream do you want?"
"Two please."

I open the bag (after getting to work, had to sneak my coffee and biscuit on the metro. Amazingly I didn't spill a drop of the elixir of life!), grab the mammoth amount of napkins and out fall two sugars. I look inside the bag and there are two more sugars. I thought maybe they just stuck together. Then I notice that there are three creams. I pull out my biscuit (bacon, egg and cheese for those inquiring minds) and find another cream and another sugar.

So, in McDonald's land: five sugars + four creams = "Two please."

...to find a bi-directional cable signal booster? If you're at Circuit City, it's eight. Yes, you read that correctly. Eight employees. I'm sure it'd have taken fewer if one didn't have to SHOUT to be heard over the music played over the PA system, which was competing with the "music" coming from the stereo/tv department. Excuse, the audio/video department. Music is in quotes because it was rap that was blaring out and the words you could hear over the bass (which was bone rattling loud) were of the swearing variety. At least the only words I recognized were swear words (I'm not counting the words "yeah" "uh huh" "ohhhh" and "unnh"). But I digress.

I first wandered the store looking for the booster. I wasn't sure if it'd be in PC Accessories, TV Accessories or the random Cables and Accessories sections throughout the store. Apparently I had as much of a clue as the employees did. As I went in search of the Help Desk an employee asked me if I needed any help and I said "Yeah. I'm looking for a bidirectional cable booster. I have the SKU number if that will help you locate it better." He just stared at me for a couple seconds and then said "I'm not sure, let me ask." We walk over to this other guy. I explain what I was looking for and what it did when he looked clueless as to what a cable booster did. He Was clueless and waved us off to this other guy. I explained again. Third guy was also clueless, said to try over in PCs because each department only knows the stock in that department.

First guy and I walk over to PC department and talk to guy number four. After I explained again, what I was after, fourth guy said "What?" I said "Cable booster to help the signal strength for cable tv and cable modem" "Cable modem? They're over there." First guy, fourth guy and I walk over and see the lovely display of Motorolla cable modems. I say "No, not the modem. I have a modem. I just need to boost the signal strength." Fourth guy said try over in TV's. First guy and I walk over to TVs and talk to guy number five. Rather I commence shouting to be heard. Guy number one leaves. Fifth guy looks up SKU on system or tries too. He turns back to me from the computer and says "Okay" (I think that's what he said) hands me my paper back and we walk back to the PC area and talk to guy number six. Number six doesn't know what fifth guy is talking about. I explain what I'm looking for and add "It's on special this week, if that helps you at all." I get two blank stares. Sixth guy walks away, I don't know if he's just leaving or if he's going to search for the booster. Fifth guy walks back to TVland and is never seen again. So I'm standing there, in the middle of the aisle, my patience (not a virtue of mine, by the way) almost entirely gone when guy number four walks back and asks "You find it?" I say "No" and guys number seven and eight appear. Guy number eight tries to sell me a new modem that comes with a booster. I tell him "I don't NEED a modem. I have a modem. It's brand new. I just need the booster." He replies "well if you returned that modem and buy this or this you wouldn't need the booster." Be proud of me folks, I didn't smack him. I didn't even roll my eyes or snarl at him. Although I was doing all three in my head. I explain in a rather tight voice "I don't need a modem. Mine cost me $9. Besides you sell the booster. It's on your webpage. I have the SKU number. It's on special this week. I. Just. Want. The. Booster." Guy number seven types in the SKU number and then the believe me that they sell the item. That they have it in stock. That it's on special. Argh!! So then guys number four and six return, see the picture and say "OH yeah, I remember seeing that. But I don't remember where." Eight guy had the same reaction.

Guys seven and eight don't go anywhere though. Four and six walk away to look for the booster. I stay standing in the aisle. Guy number four comes back and shows me the box "This is what you're looking for?" I read the box (still in his hand) "It looks like it, let me check the SKU. Yes, this is it exactly. Thank you!" Sixth guy returns with booster in hand. Each guy got it in a different place. Guy six asks guy eight, "Where'd you get yours?" Eight replies - still holding the box, I might add - "I found it over in TVs, in the satellite dish" (I have no idea what that means) "The guys over there don't know there stuff. I know my stuff. See the coaxial cables in here? This is TV stuff. They don't know ther stuff. I had to find this in their area." I'm standing there, nodding sympathetically, trying to figure out how I can grab the booster and leave without seeming overly rude. Guy eight pauses to take a breath and looks at me. I immediately jump in "This is great." I grab the box. "Thanks so much for helping me. I really appreciate it." I give him a big smile and bat my eyes at him (this usually works, don't ask me why, it makes no sense to me) and he smiles back. Tells me I can "Go pay up front now" and then turns back to other guy and starts venting about the TV guys not knowing their stuff as I walk away.

I can only imagine how long it'd have taken if there had been any other customers in the store. Or if the music was at a normal, non-ear drum threatening level.

The absolute WORST part about the whole experience is that the booster didn't even work! I still can't connect to the internet through my cable modem! Cable company is sending an "expert" out Next Thursday. Oy! And I can't even use dial up as I uninstalled that software Tuesday *sigh*

As some of yall know I've been trying to get connected to the internet from home, via a cable modem, this week. The modem arrived Tuesday along with my self install kit. I followed the directions and it didn't work. Called my cable provider for assistance, after calling Tech Support Backup (my dad), cable peeps hadn't added internet to my account and they needed numbers from my modem (nowhere is this mentioned in the self install kit). I give them all the data, guy adds internet to my account and still nothing. Then he determines that the cable signal is too weak and schedules a technician to come out on Thursday (yesterday) between 4 and 8 to add a booster.

Cable guy last night was such a krod! *I* knew more about connecting to the Internet than he did! Shocking, I know. And I'm still not connected! Grrrrrrrrr. Showed up at 7.30 (window was 4-8) stayed til 8.30 and all he managed to do was delete some Windows files (and I have no idea where my XP disks are to reinstall them) and replace my swank modem with a POS one (now adding a $3/month charge for use of modem). OH! He called the same 800 number to give the modem numbers to someone who could plug the info in and the guy on the phone said "We don't have her as being set up for the Internet. Does she want to add it now?" UGH!!!!! How many times do I have to tell these people to add the internet to my account????

So I came into work early (hello Diet Mt. Dew for breakfast) so's I can leave early to run by Circut City to pick up a bidirectional cable booster ($50) which is what my brother - the Networking and all around computer Guru (aka Tech Support Expert) - said would fix the problem before 4 when cable guy is supposed to be coming back with an "expert".

*sigh* I need a nap.

After getting off of the metro after work yesterday, I turned on my cell phone and the ghostie voices informed me that I had new V-Mail (that's what I have my cell set to do when there's a new message. Gets me a lot of strange looks, nearly as many as when a friend calls it and it howls instead of rings). The message amused me no end so I have to share.

"Hey, it's me. I'm not awake yet. I'm on my way to ***** and my shirt is on inside out and I just realized this. I looked down and saw the stitching on my shoulder. I wonder if they're going to notice." Sounds of laughter. "If there's not any traffic on the road, I'm gonna pull off to the side and ......strip." Laughter. "Joy." Laughter. "Bye!" More laughter.

It's official, we lost the contract and there is no deal with company C. We've just submitted a bid proposal. Our current contract expires Sept 30. MC might give an extension until C can firm out a contract with us. MC and C are meeting this Thursday to hash out their contract and my company won't meet with C until mid next week at the earliest.

Couple of issues the nimrod who submitted the proposal failed to ascertain the time length of the contract. He assumed it'd be for five years but really, it's just for one. So the prices he gave were "discounted for multiple years". Basically nobody should expect a raise this year (they dole out raises in October, imagine everyone's joy at this news) and bonuses are not likely (I wouldn't be eligible for a raise or a bonus so it doesn't impact me that much).

Chances are highly likely that the contract won't be renewed after the first year. In that time C will have learned how to do our work and then do it in house. So while the work will still be here for awhile (lot of companies cannot afford to do everything electronically and others refuse to because they don't trust the internet or the government, etc) it's not likely we'll be doing it - unless C hires us directly.

So I moved here, signed a lease for a year and my job isn't that secure. Such happy news. However my first U2 show is in 37 days :):):):) Second is in 38 days :):):) Third is in 40 days :):) and fourth is in 89 days :) Now if I could find a company in Raleigh that would pay to break my lease, let me start beginning of Nov, give me Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays off, I'd be set! Anyone know of any such jobs?

I have a meeting today (along with everyone else that works here) with the company bigwigs to find out if our contract was renewed. at 1.30. If yall could think positive thoughts that I'll still be employed, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

It doesn't appear very good. Half of the people here are looking for jobs right now. One even brought in Sunday's edition of the Post with the 'mega jobs' section. Apparently this is the first time the company has had a meeting about the contract renewal. So, yeah, think lots of positive - employed - thoughts.

I did talk to my supervisor last week and he indicated that the contract had already been verbally agreed on but it wasn't in writing yet. Apparently my company (we'll call it B) lost our contract with Main Company (MC) to another company (C). MC wants to move everything from paper based to electronic based. C already holds the contract to do all the electronic stuff for MC. However, C doesn't have a clue how to do what B does. So the two most likely scenarios are

1) C subcontracts the work to B,
2) C individually hires people from B to do the work.

Then there's option 3) C doesn't have anything to do with B, teaches it's own staff what to do (while leaving MC twisting in the breeze during the 'learning process') and everyone at B is now unemployed. Let me clarify, everyone at B who works on this contract would be unemployed.

Friend commented to me yesterday, that maybe my morning trials (water in cereal, almost salt in coffee) was because I was in love. So I thought I'd review some of the more ...illuminating interactions I've had lately.

Hmm let's see, the cable guy? err NO. I'm sorry I have this ...issue where if you have black gunk under your finger nails (and aren't a mechanic, gardener, repair guy, etc), one or more teeth replaced with "gold" and can't look at anything without leering that there's no way I'd ever date you. I know, I know, my standards are too high. What can I say?

Carpet buffer (yes buffer! why the hell do you buff carpet???) guy here at work who flirts with me outrageously despite not speaking English and my not speaking Spanish? Winks and grins and laughs and smiles and loiters around and touches my arm, my hand, my shoulder, etc. Yet another standard of mine - we have to be able to communicate without a translator. Oh and do not invade my personal bubble, damnit! Ask any of my friends, my personal bubble is HUGE. Apparently it's a pisces thing. So sorry, creepy carpet guy but so not interested.

The lesbian that hit on me in the bathroom? No. Sorry, not gay. I gotta tell yall, that was by Far the most uncomfortable I've been. I've had women hit on me before and not had this reaction. Just really freaking weird to be hit on in the bathroom. I was there cleaning out my plastic bowl (had oatmeal) and coffee mug. This was over a week ago.

"Nice mug. I really like the blue stripe. And it's Big. Great for coffee and other" squirrelly pause here "...liquids. Oh wow your eyes are really pretty." She steps closer to look at them better - again do Not invade my bubble people! "that's a really gorgeous shade of brown. I bet you get that a lot" sound of toilet flushing "but I really mean it." Hello! They're brown! Not hazel or green or grey. Brown! It goes on from there. I think the encounter is permanently etched on my brain.

Mehtinks it's just lack of sleep on my part and that damned cable! Unless of course you count Edge then your 'in love' theory is totally legit! *grin* Or maybe Chef Tyler Florence...(sorry C!)

Received an email from my supervisor this morning (along with all of my coworkers) "The folks from home office will be here on Monday to tell us if we still have the contract or not"

Yeah, not a good day so far.

Okay, so I had little sleep last night (maybe four hours total) and am missfiring all over the place. This morning I poured a bowl of cereal (mmmm Bran Flakes) and overflowed the bowl. Then I grabbed the milk from the fridge and started pouring and couldn't figure out why it was clear. I had grabbed my brita filter (top part is white!) and was adding water to my cereal.

At work I was getting some coffee (I don't know Why though. Coffee is for crap! Every cup I've ever had is horrid), added powdered creamer (it's wretched stuff but helps with covering up the crappy coffee taste) and opened up a packet of sugar to add. Thankfully I took another look at the package as it was salt, not sugar. Although, maybe the salt would've made the coffee more palatable.

That's the sound I've been making in the mornings lately. All kinds of pollen that my system does not like has been floating around in the air and because it's been nice out (read low humidity, lower 80's) I've had the windows open at home. Bad idea! I don't remember my allergies being this bad in NC at this time of year. Maybe I was just used to the NC variety of pollen. I'd forgotten what the pounding headaches, sinus pain and never ending nose blowing was like. And you know, I was okay with that! :)

Labor Day weekend I, unfortunately, spent mostly inside. I'm nearly out of the green Sudafed (the box is green, not the pills) and haven't been able to find it anywhere due to the stupid new regulations (why can't Meth users find some Other drug to make their drugs with??!!). First Tavist-D is taken off the shelves, now Sudafed. Is the FDA purposely trying to make my life hell?? The prescription stuff doesn't work for me (read: side effects aren't worth the little 'relief' they give) and all the OTC stuff I find that works (and doesn't knock me out flat while the drug is working, thereby making it useless for me to take as I only get about 30 mins 0f relief whilst not drugged out of my gourd or in a sleepwalking state) is taken from the shelves, put behind counters, not kept in stock, etc. *sigh*

However, I did read a couple of books and my toenails are now a lovely, light, silvery blue. So it wasn't a Total waste ;)

Okay so I was supposed to write this yesterday or Tuesday - earlier this week - but it slipped my mind. Actually I wasn't quite bored enough at work :)

We (D, her son A and I) got to the Faire, showed a Giant (grocery store) discount card and saved $6 - a good start to our day. Walking in there were two mimes dressed as Jokers. A was a little scared of them and a little awed by everything there. He's only four but he's rather tall for his age, so folks assume he's six or seven and then assume he has issues because he's so quiet. Anyway, one of the mimes breaks character to reassure A. I'm not sure if it soothed him or gave him more angst.

There are a lot of little shops and tons of people walking around. I'd say half were in renaissance garb and half weren't. None of us dressed up, tho A did bring a blue leather mask that he had gotten at a fairy festival back in April. However, it was much too warm for him to wear it very long (read he wore it to the ticket window from the car, then took it off. D carried it in her bag the rest of the day).

I wasn't sure how long we'd stay because of the heat and A's crankiness. He thought we were going to the fairy festival despite D telling him "not the fairy festival but something similar" the entire car ride (20-30 mins). This was D's second trip to a Ren faire (also A's second trip, but his first time was at 18 months, which barely counts) and my first. We walked about ate steak, spidered fries (I say spidered because we both found spiders in our fries - and no I didn't freak out. I found it at the bottom of the paper carton, having died from the vinegar I squirted on them), waffle cone sundaes and drank lots of water and soda.

D bought a little sword (wooden), teal hat with green feather and little horns for A and a wooden musical frog for her other son, Id*, who didn't come (Id turns two on Monday). I was very good and only bought food/drinks. Well, D and I both had a tarot reading but that wasn't something we had to carry around the rest of the day.

There was a lady walking around saying she was the Captain of the Queen's fleet and that she had a pet pinniped. Which I had to blink because 1) I wasn't sure she said pinniped (was talking with an accent) and 2) who actually knows what a pinniped is and uses it in a conversation other than marine biologists and random people like me? Anyway she goes through her spiel and then tells us we've all been recruited to be on her ship and we're to show up at the docks at sunrise on Monday for a three week voyage.

A doesn't get that the Captain is joking and starts mildly freaking out "but I don't wanna go on the boat! She's scary! Mommy don't make me go! It's scary there!" I'm still not sure how much was real fear and how much was A not wanting to look at the capes, cloaks, gowns, tunics, etc. in the shop we were browsing. The more he fussed about being 'afraid' the more attention D paid him and not the clothes and then he'd start "I don't want to be in here. Let's go. I don't like it in here. It smells funny in here." He may be four but he's wiley.

Anyway, the day was spent walking around browsing the shops and people watching. Saw several ladies that were rather ..errr daring in their attire, men too. Some pretty impressive codpieces..... Oh and some seriously wretched accents were heard *grin* There were a fair number of folks (men, women, old, middle aged, kids) that were wearing tails. I don't understand that. People wore tails centuries ago? For what? Or were these people just showing that they're more in tune with animals than man? Saw some folks with fairy wings too.

All in all we had a good time and I would definitely go back. Preferably when it's cooler and I can wear a cloak :)

*Gave first two initials so as not to confuse D's son with me.. I for him and I for me can be confusing :)