Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

Soooooooooooo the new coworker has some issues. First let me clarify 'new'. She's been with the company for years and years, working on this same task just in a different office on a different floor of the same building. Her desk was moved up next to mine so that she can train me. Hence she's a new coworker to me but not new to the company or my other coworkers.

I've been warned repeatedly by pretty much Everyone (supervisors included) about Debra (not her real name at all, nobody here named Debra). "She's an emotional wreck" "She needs help" "If you find her crying at her desk, it's not unusual" "She acts all nice but she'll rip your head off at a moment's notice" "She yells at people on the phone a lot" and countless other comments along the same lines. I figured they were exaggerating. The way she was described is that she's some bipolar psychopath out to get you.

Sure she's overly chatty, randomly whispers instructions to you, actively listens in on your phone conversations and badmouths one of our supervisors but I wouldn't call that psychotic behavior. Just someone with boundary issues. Then yesterday happened.

She was talking to me about work when her phone rings.
"Excuse me, I have to take this it's my daughter."
"Sure, no problem."

Then she chitchats with her daughter. Then she starts yelling at her daughter. "You always do this! You ruined Christmas last year and now you're waiting to the last minute and you're ruining Thanksgiving!!!! Why do you ALWaYS do this?!! WHY WHY WHY" phone slams down and she hangs her head down, hiding her face.

It's hard to pretend that you didn't hear someone yelling into a phone, especially when they're right next to you, not four feet away. But I do. I don't want to invade her privacy or get involved. I discreetly as possible start to slide my headphones on. She turns to me just as I get them on my head, so I pretend to be adjusting them. What can I say? I don't like to get involved in other people's personal issues unless their my friends. Cowardly? Most assuredly and I'm okay with that. :)

She says my name and I turn to her (this whole time I'd only been seeing her out of the corner of my eye) and slide my headphones off. She finishes what she was saying before - for the life of me I can't remember what as I was trying to cover the horror and pity I'm sure was in my eyes at seeing the tears in hers - and then abruptly gets up and walks out of the room. My other cellmates and I just look at each other, sorta shell shocked.
"What WAS that?" I ask.
"Man, I thought we'd at least get through this week without an explosion." says one
"It's only just beginning." says the other.
"She was crying." I say. "Dang. Guess she is a tad emotional."

Debra comes back later, tears still obvious in her eyes and on her cheeks but she seems all chirpy chatty kathy again, so I don't comment. I know *I* wouldn't want someone to ask me about why I was crying. Things level out. We do some more work, talk tv. She loves Alias and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so how bad can she be? Sure she says Bono's name wrong (pet peeve and a nightmare of mine - Meeting Bono and saying his name like Sonny Bono. I wake up embarassed and in a cold sweat. Such mortification!) but she does like U2.

Then, later in the afternoon. I hear what sounds like nail clippers. Now my supervisor - the notorious nail clipper, I swear he clips them nearly once a week! - is out today, so it can't be him. Out of the corner of my eye I see Debra bent over at her desk, messing with her feet. NO! I think. It Can't be! She is NOT clipping her toenails at work!!! Surely she's just messing with her shoe straps. Yes, that's it. Metal clasp clanking around. That's what that sound is. Debra swivels in her chair and drops something in the trash. It could be lint I think. Then I see the nail clippers. Holy freaking hell! She was cutting her toenails at her desk!!!

And to think, earlier in the day I had thought, Oh good, she's not wearing hose with her open toed shoes again. I share the horror of the toenail clipping incident with my cellmates when Debra leaves the room to rinse out her lunch dishes. We share our horror and disgust. "There's such a thing as Boundaries!"

Anyway, Debra is still out of the room and my one cellmate returns and informs us that Debra is putting stockings (hose) on in the bathroom. I comment, "Sooo she clipped her nails so that she wouldn't snag them. Why couldn't she have done her pedicure in there too??" Umm yeah, new coworker has some issues.

*boggling as in confusing/unbelievable/shocking not the "game"