Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

I've found that threatening other drivers, the TV, radio stations and The Gods in general have less of an impact when you're basically whispering what you'd like to do to them. See I've been without full vocal strength for a week now. It got better last Wednesday - well enough that I could shout my mom's order and mine from the front passenger seat at the drive thru and be heard (my mom could barely be heard when one was sitting next to her, let alone through a drive thru intercom - and then started going back down hill on Saturday.

Sunday and today my voice is basically non-existent. Most of the other symptoms from this heinous cold (thanks JT!) have gone on to pester some other unsuspecting soul. It's amazing what powerful germies toddlers can carry around and still look like little angels. See his halo of golden curls? All but shouting out his innocence.

Yes, yes he Looks sweet and innocent and oh so cute. But really he's a germ encrusted minion of the Lord Germ Commander - Sneecouphlegmghze. I say that with nothing derogatory in mind towards JT. I still think he's the sweetest, cutest adorable little guy on the planet. He can't help being a slave to Sneecouphlegmghze. Shoot, most adults are minions of the Lord Germ Commander. I'm currently and unwilling minion and am doing everything possible to thwart ol' Sneecouphlegmghze's latest attempt at world domination.

And no, your little eyes don't deceive you. JT's halo of golden curls is now gone. Yet more evidence that he's deep in the thrall of Sneecouphlegmghze. Why else would he not scream and cry at having his halo removed with slashing, gnashing blades of scissors and the vile spraying of water from a squirt bottle?

We must act fast to stop the spread of germies! To end the battle once and for all! Death to Sneecouphlegmghze and all his generals! So long to Generals Hack and Wheeze! Good riddance to Lord Aches and Captain Pains! Sayonara to Captains Watery Eye and Runny nose! And most especially to his sons - the heirs to his germie throne - Sneeze, Cough and Phlegm. Sneecouphlegmghze is an arrogant SOB, is he not??

See what I mean? Dire threats just aren't the same when you whisper them, no matter how vicious you try to be.