Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

Below is a ...poem? that a coworker left in his desk after leaving the company. We found it whilst rummaging through the desk drawers for office supplies (common & necessary practice here as ordering & recieving office supplies do not go hand in hand). It was passed around the office and giggled over. Now I'm posting it here for others.

This guy (I'll call him Creep) had serious marital issues. The biggest of which, in his mind anyway, was the lack of action in the bedroom. He'd go on for hours (days, weeks, months...) about how he wasn't getting any. Not appropriate at work but that didn't stop him. Lots of details too about different things he tried. For some reason he left out this little ditty. I guess it didn't work. I changed the wife's name but that's it. All spelling, grammatical and crossed out words are his. Umm.. enjoy?


Welcome to Parideise Vanessa,
Surrender yourself to the beauty and
tranquility of this island and let me
wash away all of your stress. Your beauty
radiates like the sun that sets from the west
off of our verranda and my love for you
swells like the ocean below. Relax princess apreciate,
and feel envrigorated with life as i show you
how we fell in love.