Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

On Wednesday, I bought some epoxy from the hardware store. I need it to fix a pipe which assisted in the flooding of the residence downstairs as well as my having no water for six days. Admittedly the broken hot water heater had the starring role in the aforementioned events.

Anyway, I was reading the packaging for the epoxy last evening (shown to cause cancer, can glue throat closed if ingested, etc.) and began to wonder what other things it might be able to fix. A broken heart? Shattered dream? Mangled ego?

Sadly the package lists nothing of the kind. Although I wonder if perhaps the fumes will cause hallucinations making you think that your heart is whole, your dream is still alive and your ego is strong and healthy? Granted the results wouldn't be permanent but perhaps the headache (which is sure to follow after you come down from your fumigation high) will be so vicious that it will erase the memories of said heart breaking, dream shattering, ego shredding. Or maybe the fumes themselves will do that?

I'll let you know after I finish the repair job. If not, there's always propoxy... ;)