Something Squirrelly this Way Comes

That's what I texted to a couple friends last night. I was waiting for the slow as molasses car techs to come inside so I could pay for my oil change and leave. However, despite their clueless and snail like behavior, they aren't the ones that had me whipping out the cell phone and texting like a madwoman.

It started as I was pulling out of my parking lot. I was pulling out (turning right) after a car had just gone by when this idiot starts honking and waving his arms at me. He was pulling out from the parking lot across the street from mine and turning left - so were both wanting to go the same way. The fact that I got to my stop sign first and was turning right - both meaning that I get the right of way - was beyond this guy. Apparently I was supposed to wait for him because he doesn't know what the road rules are or a complete stop. I stick my hand out the window and give some vague hand gesture - think Bono during the Elevation DVD when an idiot throws a cup of water at him - and yell, "I had the right of way you dumbass!"

So Bad Driver is driving beside me down the road (thankfully there are two lanes on both sides of the street), not passing me despite his earlier hurry. We near the street light and he slows down and gets behind me. Whatever. We turn right, I get into the left lane, he's in the right. Despite him being able to sail on by, he continues to pace right beside me. I ignore him. Never once have I actually looked at the guy (or his passenger) to see what they look like. I just know there are two of them. He slows down and gets behind me again when he sees that I'm going to turn left at the next light. Yeah so I'm regretting my hand gesture out the window about now. Light turns green and people ahead of me start turning left and just as the car ahead of me gets to the light, the left turn arrow turns yellow. I think for about 0.3 seconds of waiting like I normally would and then down shift & floor it so I can squeak thru the light before oncoming traffic starts heading for me. I lose Bad Driver at the light.

All the way to the library I keep one eye on my rearview mirror. See if any goldish bronzy colored 4 door squarish cars appear. None do. I pull into the library parking lot and park at the far side and watch the parking lot entrance the whole way I'm walking to the door. Paranoid? You betcha. After the crazy lady in the Target parking lot some months back, I'm not taking chances.

I come back out and switch between watching the parking entrance and my car. Visions of the crazy people (aka Bad Driver & his passenger) blocking my car in running through my head. It was fine. I checked all sides of the car and there weren't any new dings or scratches. Granted the only reason I did this was because I dropped a piece of paper and it blew under my car so I had to go to the other side to get it. Only to get to the other side, get down on my hands and knees and have the wind blow it behind my car. Figured since I had to walk all the way around it anyway, I might as well check for damages.

Then I head on over to get the oil change. I had to loop the entire mall as the drive lane to the autoshop was taped off for paving. I get there, go to the counter and wait for 10 minutes before anyone comes inside. After requesting an oil change the guy says to give them 10-12 minutes. And they were down in that amount of time just that they didn't come inside so I could pay and get my key back for another 10 minutes after they were done with my car. Nitwits.

Maybe it was the getting up at 4.30 that had my patience disappearing so quickly yesterday evening. I dunno. At least I ended my excursion on a bright note. I bought the new Nora Robert's book (came out this past Tuesday) and I didn't encounter Bad Driver when I returned to my parking lot.

Since my apt. shuttle isn't running it's normal schedule this week, I decided to catch an earlier (and cheaper) bus. This particular one comes at 5.30 about 0.3 miles from my place. So I headed out about 5.20 (just in case the bus was earlier & I wasn't exactly sure which stop it was - there are two in the general area). As I was walking along in the relative quiet, I pass this guy maybe trying to steal a car or steal things from it. Or he could've locked his keys in it. I'm leaning toward the stealing aspect as he was working on the passenger side of the car, on the darkest section of the street. I did my best not to look at him, just kept walking. Ain't no way I was going to say anything to him or make him think I noticed him or thought he was doing anything strange. Didn't look back or change my pace.

It looked like he had one of those long silver things that you see car thiefs using on tv shows. Although this guy wasn't nearly as adept. He also was pushing on the door. I did my civic duty and reported it to the police. Admittedly it was after I got to work and via email. Figured it was too late to call 911 about it as any thief worth his salt would've been long gone by now. I'd have called while I was waiting for the bus but my cell is low on battery and I was saving it in case *I* needed police assistance for myself. I'm selfish like that.

I called my dad while I was waiting on my second bus and the last power bar started blinking. Which is the last thing it does before it starts flashing low battery. Left him a vmail and only used the phone for a 1.01 minutes. So I have little guilt for not calling in the maybe-car-thief. I'll let yall know if the cops contact me.

I was going to write about this weird dream I had this morning. It was seriously odd. Apparently the FDA had requird all allergy pills to be marked as not coming from Iran, Iraq and other places. The plastic package thing would say Iran Free or 3IK (for Iraq free). I don't know why, but it made total sense in my dream. My only thought was so they've finally started printing the new packages. Granted, as part of this dream I was over at my cousin's house (technically my aunt's house as my cousin and I were just high school age) and we were making cookies or getting cookies. I'm kinda fuzzy on this part. But it was the ladies who pulled up (friends of my aunt's) who had the new allergies drug that weren't made in Iran or Iraq. Seriously bizarre.

Anyway, I got to work at 7.20 today. Nearly an hour late because my apartment shuttle never showed. Apparently there's only one bus running this morning (as was the case yesterday, but since I didn't come to work, I didn't know) as one of the regular - read non-crazy - drivers is on vacation. The other driver was on vacation last week. I'm guessing there's only going to be one bus running in the morning all week. Which would be fine, had the management deigned to tell us this. Grrr. So I caught an express metrobus at 6.35 or so, got to the Pentagon at 6.55 got to my stop at 7.05 and caught the 7.10 bus to my building. woo flippin hoo. Sure it got me to work faster than catching the 7.00 shuttle from my apt but it also cost me $3.25 more. Tomorrow I'm going to aim for catching the 5.55 bus to Pentagon station. Should get me to work at 6.30 - my regular start time.

Hope yall have lovely day and keep an eye out for Ernesto.

This time the driver was female. She showed up at 4.25 and had no clue where she was going, "I just drive in circles!" When the guy (passenger) tried to ask about street names, apartment names, etc. she said, "I don't know names! Circles!" And handed the guy the clipboard while she waved her hand in a, you got it, circle. What is it with stand-in drivers and their clipboards? Do they worship at Staples? Office Depot? Are they deciples of the Lord of Office Supplies? Apparently even Lord Clipboard can make mistakes because she missed her first run and was 20 minutes late for her second run. Or, more likely, she missed her first two runs because Lord Clipboard distracted her with circles and she thought she was driving the other driver's schedule. Pesky, sneaky clipboards!!

Some other people board the shuttle while the circle conversation continues. I stay back, waiting to see if there is a determination of the final destination. I had no desire to get on a shuttle bus and ride in "circles". As we're waiting there, listening and watching the driver and the guy determining what circle she was driving, our regular bus shows up. That's the one I board.

Most of us pile on the normal shuttle bus with our regular driver. Some daring souls get on the other one. Then we pull away and Circle Lady follows. The entire circuit she was on the bumper of the regular driver. Hopefully she's paying attention to things like exits, street signs, shuttle stops and not just memorizing what the back of the other shuttle looks like.

Logically one of the drivers would have waited at the metro station so that people wanting the 4.50 shuttle will actually have one to board. But I guess the Clipboard hypnotized her into following. I sincerely hope they weren't driving two shuttle busses, back to back, all night. But then again, it's quite apparent that logic is not a factor in determining who drives.

I wasn't sure if I was going to write about the different dialect of cows, psycho killer raccoons, Kangaroo contraceptives or something else entirely today. Instead I tried for 25-30 minutes to find the article that inspired a tidbit in the free daily paper, Express: A Publication of the Washington Post. Sadly I couldn't find the article. It won't stop me from commenting on the one in the Express though.

Apparently in Jiangsu, China folks are trying to get more people to attend funerals of their loved ones (more people at the funeral = more luck for the families - I'm assuming families of the deceased person) by hiring strippers and musicians. Funerals have since become the most popular nighttime event, and families will sometimes host competing funerals in order to attract workers who come in search of a fun evening. The strippers have included snakes in their acts as well as bathing - wonder if they mixed the two, bathing with snakes, if that would draw more people? One singer claims he now owns three apartments because "business is so good".

Does anyone else find this bizarre, funny and disturbing? Glad you had a full life great-great-grandpa! Not everyday people live to 102. Thought we'd dance on your grave and ogle strippers to honor you. Please. Seems to me that the people just want another reason to party. Call it for what it is. None of this "luck to our families" crap.

Well not History history but the National Museum of American History. It's closing September 4, 2006 and will be closed for two years for rennovations. There will be a mini-exhibit, Treasures of American History, over at the National Air and Space Museum with select pieces displayed. There are over three million items in the Nat. Am. Hist. Mus., so obviously they can't cram it all into the A&S Mus. Some items to make the move:

the Walgreens lunch counter from Greensboro, NC
R2D2 and C3PO
FDR's mic from his fireside chats
Dorthoy's ruby slippers and pal the Scarecrow
Thomas Jeferson's bible
Kermit the Frog
Ali's boxing gloves

Anyone wanting to see the whole museum best act quickly before Hotel U2Lorax fills up! ;)

Quick!! Call the fire department! Err that is, umm, Happy Birthday Mom! Glad you had fun with JT and the crew on Saturday!

I'm still waiting for those swimsuit pictures from Toph. May not be able to post one of those until Thursday or Friday. I'll be sure to let you know though. I know how found you are of having your picture taken. Especially in your bathing suit.

I got a letter in the mail from the Circuit Court. It's a pre-jury duty questionaire. Asking yes or no questions like, Are you a convicted felon? Have you committed treason? Have you lived in the state of VA for 12 months? In the city for 6 months? Are you a breast feeding mother? Are you soley responsible for a person with mental or physical dissabilities? etc. Also asks you to write in your name and address.

Couple of things struck me as squirrelly. Since the court sent this to ME at MY address, shouldn't they already know my name and address? And they're government related, right? So why don't they already know how long I've lived in this state and in this city? Especially with this administration in office. Another thing, since when could people other than Mothers breast feed their babies? Is there some new apparatus that allows fathers and/or siblings to jury rig their nipples to spout out breast milk? I hope not as that's just creepy.

So, we'll see. I may be called for jury duty in the future. Gee whiz. I may have to miss work if that happens. Shucky poo.

Kelp told me about this news article out of Kokomo, Indiana by the Associated Press. It involved a squirrel invading a Duke Energy power substation and knocking out electricity to over 5,000 businesses and homes.

"We lost the squirrel and 5,039 customers for the space of an hour," Duke spokesman Rob Norris said.

What wasn't mentioned in the article was the invading squirrel's cohorts. The ones hiding in trees outside signaling the go ahead for Operation Black Nut. My contacts in the squirrelly world have graciously given me some inside information on the promise I don't reveal my sources. No problem there. I even masked the identity of the head squirrel lookout.

Let me just say this about last weekends actitivies. It was only a test. Government agencies are so worried about terrorists sneaking fluids on planes (can't even wear a gel bra or have one in your carry-on bag) that they fail to recognize the threat that squirrels on a mission can produce. Look for more squirrelly activity in the coming months.

I was standing at the metro stop waiting for my apartment shuttle to show. It was 4.05 and the shuttle comes at 4.10. At 4.12 I see a bunch of people who also ride the shuttle with me heading down the road a bit to a shuttle bus. See, we've been having issues with the regular shuttles and have had substitute rental buses running one of the routes. We all figured that the guy driving was new and didn't know to pull further up.

I get closer to the bus and hear the driver shouting at the people already at the bus. "This is not the stop! I no come til 4.30! Go and wait there! No let on! Not til 4.30! Go! Go! Away! Go!" One industriuos would be passenger then asked him where the 4.10 bus was and why the driver had let one guy on the bus but not the rest of us (there were over 20 people waiting by now). Guy sticks his arm out the window with his clipboard, "I no know! I come at 4.30!" he shakes his clipboard, "4.30 I come! Away! Go now!"

By now it's 4.20 and we shake our heads and walk back to where we're usually picked up. Chatting amongst ourselves about the crazy angry guy we have as a driver. One lady gets on the phone and calls her apartment office to tell them about the rude driver and to find out why the 4.10 bus didn't show. Crazy driver pulls over to our stop - well, close to it. It was not quite half the distance from where he was, to where we're usually picked up. It's 4.27. So we pile on. Lady is still on the cell to the apartment office and asks Crazy Guy what his name is.

Crazy Guy: "Why you need my name? I have no name. Why you need?"
Cell Lady: "To tell the office about how rude you were."
Crazy Guy: "No name! I give no name!"
Cell Lady into her phone: "Yes, that's the driver yelling. He won't give me his name but he has black hair, dark eyes, is thin and wearing a white shirt and black pants. I can't tell his height because he's sitting down."
Crazy Guy: "No name!"

Passengers are still gettting on, one of them a lady with a mini-suitcase.

Suitcase Lady: "Sir, what's your name?"
Crazy Guy: "I have no name!!"
Suitcase Lady: "You physcially have no name? What do people call you? The guy with no name?"
Crazy Guy throws hands in the air, shakes his head vehemently, mutters something under his breath and audibly says: "I have no name! No name give! Go! Sit! Sit!!"
Cell Lady to Suitcase Lady: "I'm on the phone with the office right now, they can hear him. They're checking with the company to try and find out who this guy is." Then Cell Lady gives her name & cell number to the office person and hangs up.

We finally get on our way. As we're leaving, we pass the normal shuttle and lots of people say things like, "Oh look! There's the 4.30 shuttle. Gee I guess this really IS the 4.10 shuttle." Crazy guy mutters and takes the regular highway instead of the HOV lane. The group just mumbles amongst themselves, not wanting to anger the Crazy guy anymore. I continue working on my crossword puzzle in silence, not saying anything but listening avidly.

We're off the highway and waiting at a light when Cell Lady's phone rings. It's the office trying to get more information on the driver and shuttle bus, so as not to get the wrong driver in trouble. A plan is hatched to get the license plate number at the first stop. However, there is no need to enact the plan as another enterprising soul had already written it down after the first incident. She passes the info along to Cell Lady. Another passenger has managed to decipher a name on the clipboard and passes that along to Cell Lady. Get to the first stop, people pile off. At the second stop, just as Crazy Guy is about to drive off, the regular shuttle honks at him and pulls along side. Regular driver talks to Crazy Guy through the window for a bit and then pulls over in front of Crazy Guy's shuttle.

I overhear their conversation and, apparently Crazy Guy IS supposed to be driving the schedule that would have had him at the metro at 4.10 but he thought he was driving the other schedule. There had been some mix up at the office where the shuttle buses are kept. As the other shuttle is pulling forward, Crazy Guy tells everyone to get off his shuttle and get onto the other one. Nobody moves for a bit and then we get up, climb down and walk to the other shuttle to get on it, passing regular driver on his way back to talk to Crazy Guy.

Yeah, was definitely a non-normal ride home. Instead of getting home at 4.30 or so, I get home after 5. So much for leaving work five minutes early to get home 30 minutes early.

Typically I catch the 4.30 and get home about 5.00. If I catch the 4.10, I get home about 4.30 (less traffic & riders shaves minutes off the ride). Not to mention not having to wait 15 minutes for the 4.30 to show - I ususally get to the metro stop about 4.15.

There's a tv show, don't ask me what channel as I haven't a clue, that takes viewers cars and pimps them out. I know someone in need of an updated ride.

As yall can see here, the engine has failed. Actually, there isn't an engine. And there's no floorboards either. That's gotta be a violation of all kinds of safety laws. I know in Virginia they'd ban him from the roads (sidewalks are already banned to drivers, although some folks don't seem aware of that). Also the steering wheel is faulty. It just spins and spins with no impact on the wheels. And the brakes! There are none! He has to brake the same way he powers his car. He sticks his feet through the big hole in the floor and uses them.

I fear for his safety! Please! Can't anyone pimp his ride?? And, if you have time and money after fixing the more vital safety issues, could you do something about the color? They have paints out there that can go over plastic. I'm thinking something in the Crimson and Blue color scheme.

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

The most amusing thing about this is listed under "Careers". Apparently I should try and be a psychic. Funny. I thought that was one of those things you either were or weren't. Not something any ol schmuck on the street can train to be.

A coworker of mine found this on the 'net last week whilst searching for ways to lower blood pressure. I laughed my patookis off (thankfully, patooki are relatively easy to reattach) and figured I'd share.

Commune with man—or mouse. Studies show that social support is key in reducing stress. When it comes to work pressure, simply sharing thoughts with a coworker will do the trick. In fact, researchers suggest the mere presence of a friendly face eases stress. In a study at the University of Tokyo, researchers found that rats given an electric shock had lower body temperatures and stress-hormone levels when they were accompanied by another rat that didn't get zapped. The rats that were shocked in solitary went ape-shit.

I decided to walk from the metro stop to my building this morning. No big deal as it's not quite a mile. I got to the metro stop at 6.21 and the next bus was due in four minutes. Sure I could've waited but it wasn't hot out, just humid, so I started off. I figure'd I'd get to my building the same time as the bus did (with the people that pile on and the number of times it stops, usually takes the bus 10-15 minutes to get to my stop).

As I was walking I got to thinking about the Starbucks I'll pass along the way. I haven't been in that one, it's not yet 6.30 AM, surely it won't be busy. I'm right, it's not busy. Just two people in line and two people picking up their drinks. I open the door and am struck by the odor of spoiled milk. I think it's not so bad, the line will move fast, I can tough this out. I was wrong. Three minutes later and there are still two people in front of me waiting to give their order and I'm seriously nauseated. I put my wallet away and leave.

I then decrease my pace dramatically as walking faster gives me the urge to vomit up my Safeway brand mini-wheat cereal I had 1.5 hours ago. I'm shuffling along and I see the bus at my stop ahead. If I hadn't stopped at the Stinky Starbucks, I'd have gotten to the building ahead of the bus. So at least my estimate was on target.

I'm still queasy. Man. I'm not sure I'll be able to have any variety of milk the next couple of days. On the bright side, I'm basically all alone on my side of the building. Two people here are on vacation and three have the day off. I should be able to rock away to my fi-pod and hopefully finish up this project that's due by Tuesday. I'm on page 669 and prolly have another 200 pages to go.

Happy Friday everyone! May your day be free of the smell of rotten milk!

Nothing squirrelly going on here. Honest. Just me rearranging a blog's title. It's actually called aiueo sometimes y and is just squirrelly enough to keep me entertained. That and I know the writer, Trynn Diesel. Okay yall, go peruse.

Some of you will find this morbid and I'm sorry for that. I think it's pretty darn cool myself. There's a company working to provide artificial reefs. They have an environmentally friendly cement mixture that they use to form reef balls. They acquire proper permits and then place the reef balls on the ocean floor. Their goal is to repair and form coral reefs that have been destroyed by man's activities.

For the last several years they've also been adding in the cremated remains of people and pets. You have the ashes sent to them and they add them into their cement mixture. They're called Eternal Reefs and I think they're amazing. Some of you know that I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on the ocean. I've now modified that desire. I want my ashes, along with Gallagher's, to be made into a reef ball.

Each ball has a bronze plaque in it and you're given the GPS coordinates. This way remaining friends and family can have a physical place to go visit. Scuba diving in the ocean is far better than walking through a cemetary, in my mind. Plus it's providing a habit for all manner of sea life. The reef balls will last 300 years or so but even if they disintegrate before that, so what? It would just mean that my ashes were scattered at sea.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THE EDGE!!!!!

May your wishes come true, your family stays healthy and that your innermost desire comes true today!

Okay so I had an entry in mind for today. But, since I had the day off, I didn't want to post at my regular time. Then the morning was gone and I was busy applying for jobs and the next thing I know it's after 3 in the afternoon. So the entry I was going to post today, I'll post tomorrow. Yall will have to deal with this one instead. :)

b is over the hill! b is over the hill! Actually, he's over the mountains from me.. sorta kinda. I swear I wasn't picking on his age. Just his location. Honest. The fact that his birthday was yesterday is a total coincidence.

Obviously I'm at a blank for what to write today. Figure picking on one of my more regular readers would be fun. And I've already picked on the other two who come by regularly. Technically there is another one who reads but she's sworn to 'smack me upside the head' should I reveal any of her ...shenanigans. Mom's can be squirrelly like that. ;)

What else can I babble about? OH! The Dr. Pepper Berries & Cream is total crap! Utterly disgusting. I have 3/4 of a bottle sitting on my desk. Has been there since Wednesday. I can't bring myself to drink anymore (seriously disgusting) or throw it out (such a waste and what if I'm *really* desperate one day?). Maybe the soda fairy will come and pour it down the sink and recycle the bottle for me. Allay me of having to deal with the guilt.

It's possible. I mean the office supply fairy dropped off white out for me last night. And it's not that liquid crap that takes ages to dry. It's the rollie out tape style that can immediately be written on. Thanks OS Fairy Trynn! :)

Alright, enough random babbling. I'm gonna go get some cereal. Maybe some Fruit Loops as I'm obviously not nearly fruity or loopy enough today ;)

As I'm notorious for getting birthday's wrong (usually just a day off, mind you), I want to send a birthday shout out a friend. His birthday is today or tomorrow. I think it's tomorrow but I don't want to be given grief because I was late in my well wishing, so...

Happy Birthday Rennie Pooh!

Just think how cool you'd have been if you were born on August 8th instead. Definitely no way I'd mix your birthday up then! ;)

You Are Changing Leaves

Pretty, but soon dead.

I know it's wrong on the first part and, frankly, I hope it's wrong on the second part.

I stopped in at Starbucks this morning for an espresso frappacino. I was up til almost 1 reading Twelve Sharp, the newest Janet Evanovich novel with bounty hunter Stephanie Plum. It didn't take me but maybe three hours to read it. I barely laughed. I kept hoping it'd get better, funnier but no. Maybe I'm just spoiled by her earlier works, before she became such a huge writing name. Her last couple of books have been duds. Thank heavens for the library.

Anyway, figured I could use the espresso this morning plus I didn't have anything for breakfast so I picked up a muffin too. I have no idea what the guy did but I made $0.04. Total came to $7.68, I gave him $20.03 and he gave me $12.39 in change. I told him it should just be $0.35 since and he looked confused, printed out the receipt, checked the change in his hand and gave it to me. I didn't want pennies, that's why I gave him three in the first place. Ah well.

Then the lady making my frapp was asking me how many shots I wanted. I said how ever many usually come with an espresso frappacino. She's made it for me before, so I don't know what her problem is. Maybe they all took clueless pills this morning?

Nearly eight minutes later she hands me my drink and says "coffee err caramel err espressee frappacino. Oh you know what I mean." I walk over to get a straw and say, "Hopefully it's an espresso." and walk out the door. It's not quite an espresso but it's stronger than coffee. And I seriously doubt that I got skim or organic milk in it, let alone organic skim milk. Don't think I'll be back to that one anytime soon.